thao_le

Last night, I feel horrified. Contemplating about what was going to happen next. I was pretty terrified, I felt indifferent. I wanted some attention from my significant other. Anyway, let's just say I was not happy.

I felt alone, sad, very close to stabbing myself with a sharpened pencil... Let's take into consideration that I just moved in, and I don't have any knives. So the sharpest thing was a pencil.


I woke up in the middle of the night and felt some positive vibes? Don't know, I just know I woke up after an HR of pondering.. what when where why? and I felt good.


I woke up early today.. I feel good, I have not gotten up this early in a while.. (730) I laid around..

I feel good! Still!

So I have pandora on, and ice cube-today was a good day is playing.. HMM???

This is happening after I'm annoying my friend about how good I feel! And what a good day it has been so far

The scene starts off at a car accident.

Adele is in the car; obviously looking troublesome. Next to her is a gentleman.

As this scene progresses, we realize that it was pedistrians that were hit. The car hit a tree--from what you see.

There is a man/woman. They lay there, normal. But they are on the floor--dancing I guess..

This video kind of describes what Adele is feeling.

She is sitting in the car- bumper to bumper traffic.. You cannot move, and can't breathe.

The pedistrians at first; fall in some kind of 'love' then slowly dwell apart.

As do Adele and the gentleman.

She


TBC.

Hello yalls!

Happy New Years, to everyone. 2010 will be your year?

Today, I have realized that things are starting to fall into place, for the moment. Things can be snapped out of your hands in an instant. Although, I was discouraged at first. I am going to remain positive, positive vibes!


I finally got into an apt., thanks to my dearest friend Jenny. :) I'm back in school. And have a great job.

I realized after walking to my car after class that I should be extremely happy and grateful for what I have been given, and the circumstances I have overcame this year...

I need to really focus on doing things RIGHT at work. I need to focus on school. STAY IN SCHOOL..

I need to never lose touch with my dear friends/family. And MYSELF. Let's face it--if you lose touch with yourself, you can kiss everything goodbye. You would only be a big puddle of pathetic-ness.

Anyway, I am excited. I have camped here at Larry's for a long time. Feels like home! But it's time to be independent, pay bills, be a grown-up. I should be an adult, act like an adult. Be more responsible with my life, NOT forget my umbrella when it's storming outside. ETC. OK, this may be easier said than done, because I see Larry everyday. But anyway.

I think everyone should take the wheel and drive their own lives, take initiative. It is that much more rewarding and fulfilling knowing that you DID IT YOURSELF..

Last week, I felt horrible. I felt like my life is starting to swirl into that black hole that I was once in. I don't ever want to feel that way anymore, but maybe sometime in the future it might happen again. It's inevitable. What are you gonna do? Sit and mope?

Well that's what you would do at first, but you are in control of you. And you can change some of the minor or not so minor details of what will happen next. There are certain things that will happen and you won't understand why. But take it in, cry, laugh, mope, drink, smoke, whatever it is, whatever your VICE may be. Do it and pick yourself up. You can do it, and having family/friends there to support you %100 of the time is a very crucial step. This is why I feel so bad for losing touch with some of my friends/family. I apologize, but you are all always in my thoughts. When I pray, I pray that you all are safe and sound, full of happiness, and health. I pray for you first. ALWAYS.

So cheers to a new year!! Have you reflected? Are you happy where you are? I hope so. Be thankful for the many blessings you may get, and be thankful for the lessons you will learn from your mistakes and consequences.

Lots of love & positive vibes!

Thao

I have to say I heard Jason Derulo's song first. And IT IS VERY CATCHY. Once I heard it, I listened to the original song by Imogen Heap... Sorry Imogen, you loose.. This track is electronic, and it has an eerie, depressing feel to it. I tried to like it because I really do like her. I don't have anything against electronic music, but this song to ME is ALL wrong. I think Jason, did a good job on using Imogen's chorus line for his song. Very innovative..coming from an "r&b" artist.










It's Friday! :) I will try to update more often.

Not talking about Michael Jackson...

Lately;things have been mediocre. I like this. I got a promotion; I'm sure my Mom would just love this. She is usually the first person I tell when I have suceeded in something. I miss her.

November 7 is my birthday. It's hard to be excited because I know my family was together last year for my birthday and not this year.. Yvonne and grandma are in Ohio in case you peoples didnt know. ( This is what will be best for all of us in the long run) I am grateful though; I am a walking liability but I am grateful.. for all the things that have transpired. I have grown. I remember wanting to grow up and get older in hyperspeed. I said I understand what it entails; but boy! This aint even close to what I was anticipating! It's a struggle for me to even find an apartment. Thinking about how much longer school will take makes me cringe. Having an extremely weak immune system makes me wanna live in a bubble. Contemplating about what's gonna happen next makes me wanna cry.

I lost my best friend as some people know; no not literally but I've lost her. And I have decided it has became a situation that I can no longer try to fix. Not something anyone can fix if the other half of the party is not willing to talk.. At times I get angry, sometimes I feel grief. Definitely like something died. And I still smell that awful death smell everywhere I walk.

I feel happy that it's a new year but it's a new year without the one person that meant the most to me. I'm very happy that I'm still here.

Although I have lost an important person in my life; I have gained another. Not anyone to replace my mom, but a very good person. I lean on this person maybe a little too much for my own good; but he is amazing. Thanks.

I want this year to be positive; I want to be a positive person. I want to learn and excel. I want to love and learn. I want to feel pain and make mistakes because I want to learn and grow. I would like to avoid playing it safe. Let myself explore. I want to grow into a good person not only for myself but for others. I understand these are hard things to do; but I think everyone should try. Why wouldn't you want to try? If I could describe and give you a definition of what Life is; I don't think that would be much of a Life. Life is unexplained and a mystery. I'm not saying I can't describe what is is, I just can't explain why things happen in your individual lives and mine. I don't believe there should be an explaination. If there is I doubt it is precise.


I don't know why we get heartbroken, feel grief, cry, laugh, get hungry and so on and so forth.


"We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves, to other people. The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we've done, or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes the damage is something we can't even see."

"According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when we're dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can’t imagine it’s true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we’ve done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance."

"We all remember the bed time stories of our childhoods. The shoe fits Cinderella, the frog turns into a prince, sleeping beauty is awakened with a kiss. Once upon a time and then they lived happily ever after. Fairy tales, the stuff of dreams. The problem is, fairy tales don't come true. It's the other stories, the ones that begin with dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable. It's the nightmares that always seem to become reality. - The person that invented the phrase "Happily ever after" should have his ass kicked, so hard!!"

CHEEERS!